The funnel cakes were waiting, but Raytown, Mo., Police Chief Robert Kuehl told a crowd of young KCK football players Saturday morning that he had spent four decades learning one lesson. He wanted to pass it along before they ran off to the funnel cake line.

“Simple and easy are not the same thing,” Kuehl said, standing alongside KCK Police Chief Karl Oakman at Bishop Ward’s Dorney Field. The right thing to do is almost always clear, he told the campers, even when it is hard. Running ten laps when a coach orders it, studying for a test, or walking away from a fight are all simple choices, but none of them are easy.

The message fit the morning. Scores of young athletes turned out for the fifth annual Tackling Conflict Together camp, sponsored by Oakman and run by the KCK Police Athletic League. The free camp paired football drills with lessons on conflict resolution, anger management, teamwork, and personal responsibility.

Campers started off with warm-ups and calisthenics, then broke into position-specific groups for skill work, coming back together before lunch for age-level scrimmage games. Hot dogs, chips, and a funnel cake completed the morning.

Kuehl’s central point was that no one can control what comes their way, only what they do about it. He told the kids that the one thing nobody can take from them is their choice. When anger rises, he said, even a single deep breath buys enough time to pick the right response.

“When you get mad, when somebody makes you upset, boom, choice,” Kuehl said. “I can walk away. Or I can go the wrong direction. And I tell you what you just did. You just gave that person control over your life.”

Kindness and self-control

Oakman has built the camp around conflict resolution since its first year, and he said that focus is the point. “As you know, that’s the result of most violence that we see, is people’s inability to resolve conflict,” the chief said.

This year the department narrowed the theme to two ideas it wanted campers to carry home. “Two things we’re focusing on is kindness and self-control,” Oakman said. “Be kind to people, and then control yourself. Make great decisions, better decisions. You can always walk away, and that takes self-control.”

The camp has welcomed girls since it began, and the chief said that is by design. The recent addition of girls’ flag football as a high school sport broadens the reach of those positive benefits.

“I think other than physical activity and health, it also teaches teamwork,” said Oakman. “All the things that sports have always taught us for generations. And that’s why this camp is for girls and boys. And when you talk about conflict resolution, we’ve seen an increase in a lot of violence among our young ladies, so we want to make sure that they’re included also.”

Despite what may be a challenging budgetary environment as the UG commission began looking at personnel costs last week, Oakman pledged his department’s best.

“We at KCKPD, we’re never going to use budgeting as an excuse for us not to do what we need to do,” the chief said. “We’ll never use that as an excuse to reduce our ability to serve the community.”

Former Chiefs lend a hand

Members of the Kansas City Chiefs Ambassadors, a group of former players, again served as volunteer coaches, running drills and interacting with the young athletes. Mark Collins, a cornerback for the Chiefs from 1994 to 1996, and a two-time Superbowl winner with the NY Giants, laughed and joked with the campers, even while he challenged them to work hard in the drills. Collins was joined by wide receiver Tim Barnett, with the Chiefs from 1991 to 1993, and running back Ted McKnight, who played in KC from 1977 to 1981.

Collins said the camp’s message lines up with what sports teach, and with what he learned growing up. The goal, he said, is to give kids a way to negotiate adverse situations without reaching for “the final act of violence.”

“You’ve got to know how to engage with people, whether you agree with them or not,” Collins said, describing an open dialogue carried out in a peaceful manner. He credited his own parents for that foundation and said he knows many kids do not start from the same place. He lauded the work of PAL in Kansas City in helping young people on the right path.

KC Wolf was also on hand in the camp, jumping right into the drills. Along with his usual antics and dancing, the Chiefs mascot showed off his arm with some long-range bombs and his sure-handed furry paws with some catches.

Relationships first

PAL program director P.J. Locke said the camp has grown every year.”I knew it was going to be a good year, which means we’re doing something right,” Locke said.

He described PAL’s roster of programs that now reaches about 100 kids a day, all free, including an expanded driver’s education program, boxing, and community cleanups, along with a garden that produces honey, chickens, and salsa ingredients.

PAL often serves as the front line in resolving youth conflicts. The approach, according to Locke, comes down to listening. “Relationships solve more issues than anything else does.”

PAL’s listen-first approach also pays dividends in the broader force. Officers are now encouraged to spend time finding out what a young person needs rather than simply giving orders. “We listen to the kids in the community and say, ‘This is what we want,’ and then PAL tries to give them that, and that’s how we’ve been successful for so many years.”

Oakman pointed to more of that work ahead, including a youth academy for ages 12 to 15 set to start Jul. 27 and run by the department.

“It’s just important that we really work with our young people to make sure we’re making them go on the right path,” the chief said.

Images from KCKPD Youth Football Camp